Tom Cruise's Sexuality Settled Once and For All

He's been married three times and has also been romantically linked with some of Hollywood's most desirable women. Yet for nearly his entire career, Tom Cruise has been subject to pervasive rumors that he's gay. [Ed. note: Noooo!] Though Tom's camp has repeatedly denied the talk, it has persisted over the years, with two men even claiming to have had affairs with him -- tales which Tom was willing to challenge in a court of law. Now, after conducting an extensive investigation of the gay rumors, porn star-turned-private investigator Paul Barresi is speaking to In Touch about his findings. "Everything I've found and everything I know points to Tom being heterosexual," Paul tells In Touch.

Tom Cruise's Sexuality Settled Once and For All

Um, wait a second. Did I read that right? Paul Barresi? Did you say PAUL BARRESI?

Here are a few facts In Touch somehow neglected to mention.

Paul Barresi has been called "the most unreliable source in the history of hack journalism."¹ After starting as a porn star he became something like a "private investigator" and/or "bodyguard" for a few celebrities whose heterosexually has been questioned. These are fields that deal with things like extortion and hush money, and following the money we can see who's got a secret to hide.

In 1979 Mr. Barresi starred in the gay porn classic "L. A. Tool and Die." The next year, he was touring with Paul Lynde in summer stock.² And two years later he found Mr. Lynde dead in his Beverly Hills home.³

That same year John Travolta allegedly introduced himself to Mr. Barresi while the latter was showering at his gym.⁴ Three years later, Mr. Barresi had a small part in "Perfect," a John Travolta film.

In 1990, Mr. Barresi sold the story of a two-year love affair with Mr. Travolta to the National Enquirer for $100,000. Then he retracted the story . . . apparently dodging a lawsuit and keeping the $100,000.² Two weeks after the Enquirer story appeared, Mr. Travolta announced his engagement to Kelly Preston, who had just broken up with Charlie Sheen and was said to be pregnant.⁵

Mr. Barresi's retraction states that "I regretted that initial call to the Enquirer"². Later, though, he declared that "I regretted the retraction a lot more than I regretted that initial call to the Enquirer."⁴

In 1994 a woman he'd dated turned up unexpectedly at his door. She'd worked at Neverland Ranch until 1992, when she was fired, and claimed in widely varying stories to have witnessed Mr. Jackson touching Macauley Culkin inappropriately. The pair sold the story to the media, and Mr. Barresi made $30,000 from the deal.²

In 1997 Mr. Barresi was allegedly hired for damage control by Eddie Murphy after he'd been arrested for picking up a tranvestite prostitute. "In less than 10 days," Barresi said, "I got them all to sign sworn, videotaped depositions, stating it wasn't Murphy himself, but rather a look-alike, who they'd encountered. . . . ." The transvestites were reportedly well paid to recant and only one refused. Atisone Seiuli wouldn't relent and then died in a fall from her roof.^{6, 7}

In 2001, Mr. Barresi was producing a porn film when one of his stars declared he'd had sex with Tom Cruise. Again Mr. Barresi signed on to sell the story. Somehow -- oddly -- it was kept out of the press, though Mr. Barresi claims to have made a paltry five thousand dollars on the deal.⁸

Last year Mr. Barresi started writing a book in which he declared that he helped "private eye to the stars"/convicted felon Anthony Pellicano protect celebs from negative news stories.⁹ Oddly, the book hasn't yet hit print, and Mr. Barresi recently said that he's still working on the final draft.¹⁰

And now Mr. Barresi, who will apparently do some very strange things for money, comes out of nowhere to declare that Tom Cruise is straight.

Which tells me two things. One, that Mr. Barresi's bank account is probably healthier than Paul Lynde. And two, that In Touch has finally settled the matter of Mr. Cruise's sexuality once and for all.

1. http://www.lukeford.net/profiles/profiles/marty_singer.htm
2. http://www.answers.com/topic/paul-barresi
3. http://www.britain.tv/wikipedia.php?title=Paul_Lynde
4. http://www.xenu.net/archive/WIR/wir2-48.html
5. http://www.lermanet.com/cos/FABMagazine.htm
6. http://www.eurweb.com/story/eur25161.cfm
7. http://www.nndb.com/people/544/000022478/
8. http://www.hollywoodinterrupted.com/archives/hollywood_tellall_
book_exclusive_pellicanos_enforcer_the_heterosexual_tom_cruise_
and_more_scandal_chapter.phtml
9. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14626180/
10. http://www.celebitchy.com/7687/in_touch_declares_ tom_cruise_not_gay_-_from_same_guy_who_said_he_was_last_year/