Dear Victoria's Secret:

I just read that the American Family Association has designated you as a "Company Against Christmas" because of your refusal to recognize the religious holiday.

I am truly shocked and horrified that you choose not to align yourself with their "Companies For Christmas," like QVC, Dollar Tree, and Kmart. Surely it's not just folks in cheap panties who need God in their lives. Who'd have guessed that a company that produces primetime TV shows featuring winged women in lacy brassieres would neglect our Lord?

I'm hopeful this is an oversight, and will be corrected soon. Because I for one will not shop at your stores until your ads proudly proclaim, "Merry Christmas! Celebrate the birth of Jesus! Look at my boobies and snatch!"

Sincerely,
RomanHans