Once again I'm in awe of Christians for finding yet another instance of insidious subliminal marketing in a Disney advertisement. It's absolutely despicable the way they shove their hidden agenda down our throats. This ad looks totally harmless, but there's a secret message. Your brain, without any conscious effort, will notice it -- "SEX," in big, curvy letters -- and it'll make a little mental note that says, "Wow, I really want to see that film!" And then that night, as the lights come back up in the theater, you'll finally return to sanity. "Why the fuck did I see that?" you'll think to yourself.

So, thanks, Christians. You're amazingly perceptive. Sure, you missed how the dude's eyes are all but screaming, "Girlfriend, let me go! I've got a boyfriend and two teacup poodles that miss me!", and how he's just a blonde wig and a tiara away from singing "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend," but I'm guessing scanning ads with a magnifying glass probably fried your tiny brains.