Undercover Boss: The Monologue

Hi. I'm Hiram Whittaker, president of Radio Hut. I've been president for thirty years, and my father was president before me. It's a good job, but there's a lot of responsibility.

I'm going to join my workers undercover to see how the other half lives. To tell you the truth, I'm a little scared.

Wow, this is difficult. What, I've got to do this eight hours a day? Whaddaya mean TWELVE? Ohmigod. Are you kidding me? How do you put up with this? You people are saints. I don't think I could get through an entire shift of this, and you do it every day?

Well, now it's time for me to come clean. I'm not really a new employee: I'm Hiram Whittaker, the president of the company. Yes, I know you're thrilled to meet me, and yes, it took a lot of courage on my part to do this little prescripted thing in exchange for nothing but an hour of free primetime publicity. I know all you little workers look up to me like a father figure, but dude, I'm incredibly humbled. I've been sitting in my glass castle all these years, reaping in vast riches for basically shuffling paper, while people like you have been working their fingers to the bone, dedicating their lives, even sacrificing their families in return for the bare subsistence wages I've been paying them. It's just unbelievable. How horrible I feel! How unfair is this vicious cycle!

Dude, lemme give you a brand new Fiero. Is that great or what? Remember everybody, Radio Hut is the place to go for electronics. Adios!