Congratulations on buying the new Samsung Slider! We know this phone will give you many years of pleasure. You're probably already appreciating its unique features. Whenever you get a text message, it beeps twice. Every ten minutes afterward, it'll beep twice to remind you. If you get a voice message, it beeps twice to alert you, and it'll also beep twice every ten minutes so you don't forget.

When the power gets low, the Samsung Slider will beep twice to alert you. After you connect its power cord, it'll beep again so you know it's juicing up just fine. If you leave it in the sun, the Slider will beep its distress, also alerting you to put on sunscreen. Curious what a broken fax machine sounds like? Your Flash will randomly imitate one, sensing whether you're asleep or not and ramping up the sound so you don't miss the fun.

Set your Slider down near another electronic device, from a computer to a toaster oven, and the Slider will express its delight with two more beeps. Place it near another cellphone and the Slider will emit a pair of beeps that might have you thinking it wants to communicate. But no, it's just more meaningless beeps.

In fact, whether at play or at rest, the Slider will beep almost continuously, day and night. Think of it as our millions of employees worldwide saying, "Thank you for buying another fine Samsung product."

Samsung: There's a reason our warranties don't cover hammer damage.™