Monday, March 22, 2010

For the past few weeks, the media has been fixated on Tiger Woods' alleged potty-mouthed sexts. How shocking! How outrageous! What kind of sociopathic fiend could say such bizarre things?

Pot, kettle, black. Below we've mixed up some of Tiger's sexts with random outbursts by TV news reporters. See if you can tell which is which.

My dearest darling,

(1) What the fuck are you doing?

(2) I want to be deep inside you. I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you.

(3) We'll do it live. Fuck it!

(4) Next time I see you, you better beg and if you don't do it right I will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy.

(5) Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore.

(6) Log onto My Fox NY dot cock.

(7) Then I'm going to tell you to shut the fuck up while I slap your face and pull your hair for making noise.

(8) Jesus Chris, I mean it's not that much to ask.

(9) I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust.

(10) But folks from that street in New York, the Bronx section, sound more likely to give her a curb job than a blow job.

(11) Have you ever had a golden shower done to you?

(12) Sorry. Shit. Golly.

(13) Having a few issues at home. Might be a little later before I see you tonight.

(14) Keep fucking that chicken,



(1) WNBC anchor Sue Simmons
(2) Tiger Woods
(3) Bill O'Reilly on Inside Edition
(4) Tiger
(5) Tiger
(6) Ernie Anastos on Fox 5 News
(7) Tiger
(8) ESPN reporter Chris Berman
(9) Tiger
(10) Shepard Smith, Fox News
(11) Tiger
(12) ESPN reporter Heather Cox
(13) Tiger
(14) Ernie Anastos on Fox 5 News

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