I really have to commend Chris Matthews for his coverage of President Obama's State of the Union address last night. Mr. Matthews was so good, in fact, for an hour I actually forgot he was Irish.

Now, if I hadn't seen it for myself, I wouldn't have believed it. If I'd read him in the newspaper or heard him on the radio, it never would have occurred to me he was born under a shamrock. But instead I was, like, watching him there on MSNBC with his neatly-coiffed hair and his expensive suit, and it was like rubbing my stomach while patting my head. My brain was saying, "Wow, this is really good commentary," but my eyes were scanning all that massive pinkness and going, "Bloody hell, that's an Irish dude!" It was like seeing a squirrel win the Boston Marathon.

I know my critics are going to take this out of context, so let's make this perfectly clear. This is a total compliment. Chris Matthews did a great job: no ifs, ands, or buts. And I know his proud countrymen will be toasting this unbelievable achievement this morning over a bowl of Lucky Charms.