One day soon, the Rapture will whisk all the believers to heaven while nonbelievers will be stuck on a tumultuous earth. The Anti-Christ will rise to power, and seven years later Jesus will lead his righteous army back to earth to fight the sinners in the battle of Armageddon.
Naturally, the good guys will prevail. Jesus and his gang will live peaceably for a thousand years, after which they'll head back to heaven while the nonbelievers will be cast into a lake of fire for all eternity.
On Tuesday, Sarah Palin's hometown paper The Frontiersman stated unequivocally: the Antichrist will be gay.
Which actually, you know, proves kind of helpful. Because a few inches left and down there's this ad:
Maybe I'm paranoid, but I'm thinking y'all better meet Chris, Danny, and Drew at Starbucks, just to be safe.
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