Sadly, my own poem -- Elvis: American Kylie -- won't be excerpted, though it's at least as good as Bono's. If you don't believe me, see if you can pick out which of the following are in Bono's poem and which are in mine.
1. elvis strutted like the past was behind him.
2. elvis wore a gold nudie suit and trained his lip to curl. elvis was macho, but could sing like a girl.
3. elvis the charismatic. elvis the ecstatic.
4. elvis liked nader, gators, and fried green tomaters.
5. elvis liberation. elvis hibernation.
6. elvis hated liquors and had a drawer full of women's knickers.
7. elvis didn't dodge the draft. elvis had his own aircraft.
8. elvis sang to win. elvis the battle to be slim.
9. elvis was a backwood sage. elvis liked girls underage.
10. elvis hated george and ringo. elvis had a fear of bingo.
11. elvis connection. elvis erection. elvis fungal infection.
12. elvis imperial. elvis nestle's quik on cereal.
13. elvis knew priscilla had to go when he saw her hammer toe.
14. elvis the white nigger ate at burger king and just kept getting bigger.
15. elvis ain't gonna rot. elvis in a memphis plot.
16. elvis didn't like star trek but died while dropping off the captain's log.
ANSWER: 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 14, and 15 are by Bono. 1, 4, 6, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, and 16 are by me.
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