Friday, May 8, 2009

Well, as Jesus used to say, behind every spooky person you'll find a spooky religion, and Danny Gokey is a sparkling example. He's a member of the Faith Builders International Ministries, founded by Pastor Jeff Pruitt and his wife Robin.


The first time God spoke to Pastor Jeff, He said it was time to "leave the nest" and start a church. When that church crashed and burned, a fluffy white cloud appeared to him with a correction. "Come," the cloud said, "please come!" and then the Lord said -- presumably the Lord has a different voice than a cloud -- "Son, you are in the wrong place. I need you in Milwaukee, Wisconsin." You know, like he's the general manager of a Hertz dealership. Jesus frequently corrects His Father when His messages forget to include geographical details.

Like Dr. Phil's similarly-named appendage, Robin created a role for herself within her man's organization. She created the Style Women's Ministries "to assist [women] in realizing their God-given purpose." At least one disgruntled member says this is quite literally a ministry for style, as Pastor Jeff preaches that it's a sin for women to go without makeup, and the focus of the meetings is to get women into flashy clothing and the cheap jewelry that Robin sells.

FBIM is successful in their new location, with Pastor Jeff asking for 10% of the earnings of approximately two thousand members. Needless to say, they're extremely proud of Danny Gokey, putting him front and center on the church's home page and on a separate page of his own. Pastor Jeff's blog gushes about Danny's appearances on the American Idol: "I loved what the judges had to say, but especially Kara . . . I think she nailed it when she said that Danny has so much joy when he sings! We know that the joy of the Lord is our strength! And that 'joy' which is Christ in him comes forth as he sings. . . . I spoke with him last night and he is preparring [sic] to be the next American Idol for the glory of God! All he ask [sic] for is our prayer! Go Danny!"

The congregation's reaction to Adam's placement may not seem quite as Christian. "[C]hannel 17 news . . . captured our church going wild when they saw Adam in the bottom 3 . . . it was deafening in the house with all the cheering to say the least!"

If all this flash and glamour tempts you toward the Faith Builders, though, be warned that some of their beliefs are a little hard to swallow. They think the Holy Spirit can go inside you and make you speak in tongues. They think you can bring dead people back to life. And, weirdest of all, they think it's possible for a Christian man to convert his golfing buddies.


Still, they've got to be doing something right, because it's easy to see the joy that the Lord has put in Danny's eyes. It's easy to see the pride that his family feels. And it's easy to see the stripper pole and ceiling-mounted camera just behind them, but we already knew the Lord worked in mysterious ways.

1 comment:

The Non-Singing, Non-Flying Nun said...

Hey, you forgot to say that poking out of the cloud apparition were "arms of all ethnicities," clearly the body parts of racially diverse angels.

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