Maybe I'm pessimistic, but my first instinct is not to trust real estate developers. I mean, their power is pretty much dependent on their ability to lie -- e.g., Donald Trump -- so I've always discounted pretty much every word they've ever said.

Thor Equities, on the other hand, has shown me to be a total fool. Sure, they set out from Day One to destroy a landmark. They wanted to bulldoze Coney Island, New York's historic seaside playground, and replace it with luxury condos and a mall. After finishing the bulldozing, though, they realized the city wasn't going to bow down to their zoning demands, so their grand plans came to an abrupt halt.

Realizing New Yorkers weren't entirely thrilled with vacant land where an amusement park used to be, they decided to build a replacement attraction. "This summer we're proud to present a hip new approach to the old school open air market! Festival by the Sea is a totally new and exhilarating experience -– an exciting and festive place to buy handmade crafts made by local artisans, eat great food, hang out and see and be seen. Heck, we'll even have a tent devoted exclusively to gourmets called the Foodies Festival. Come on down and see: Coney Island's looking even better than before!!"

A month ago the flyers went up, and I started to get excited.


"Wow!" I thought. "Four tents! Gay banners! How festive! How fun! I can't wait!" Somehow I held off until the second weekend, to give them time to find their footing, and last Saturday afternoon here's the fest I found.


Yup, that's the grassy circle at the bottom left of the poster. Whee! I know people would have been meandering around the area just above the circle except it's really, like, a road.


This photo was taken from one end of the green tent, looking through to the red one.

I didn't take a picture of the blue or yellow tent because I don't like climbing over cyclone fence.


Is that a festival or what?

Sure, it doesn't look exactly like the poster. I mean, those are just big aluminum frames instead of tents. But aren't those balloons festive? Two of those frames are empty, behind fencing, and two are nearly empty, housing a total of maybe fifteen booths. There isn't any handcrafted work, and no local artisans, but they're fun booths! One sells wacky t-shirts. One sells Tupperware. One sells toys you'd otherwise have to go to Chinatown to buy. And one sells a gasoline additive that's guaranteed to quadruple your mileage. Heck, at gas prices these days, that's even better than some chick who makes purses out of felt.

I know there are some naysayers who'll whine that a lady selling homemade Caribbean food on a card table and a dude selling pickles isn't exactly a Foodies Fest, but it looked like a fine lunch for folks who like to eat stuff that a stranger made and then transported in the trunk of her car.

Anyway, in closing, I would like to add my voice to the thousands who have visited the Festival of Fun over the past few weeks
and say, New York politicians, let Thor Equities build whatever they want at Coney Island! They don't draw up preposterous, impossible proposals and then actually deliver a giant pile of crap, like the unscrupulous developers we all know. No, with this marvelous new festival, Thor Equities has proven that their ability to deliver quality work is more than a match for their vision.