When Michael Bloomberg first ran for office, we were intrigued. "He's worth billions," we thought. "He doesn't need a job, or money. So, he's got to want to help us, right?"

We feel so stupid in retrospect. No, he didn't need a job, or money. He needed a playground. Billionaires get tired of going to the same ten fancy restaurants every week. Billionaires hate seeing Dollar Stores, or poor people. Billionaires get bored when their neighbors don't even have a million in the bank.

The second he got into office he started redesigning the city for his peeps.

Zoning changed, and changed again, until developers could throw up literally anything. On every block, seemingly every month, another brownstone was torn down and replaced by ten cement-block stories of luxury condos. Affordable apartments were converted into luxury condos. Even parks -- with trees, and jogging tracks, and baseball diamonds -- were ripped out and replaced by luxury condos, restaurants selling hundred-dollar hamburgers, billion-dollar stadiums selling $100,000 season tickets.

The middle class moved out and the rich moved in. The city became a playground for millionaires, and Mayor Bloomberg smiled.

Sadly, the story doesn't end here. Turns out all the creative accounting that supported this playground was just a house of cards. The financial industry collapsed, and all the Wall Streeters lost their jobs. And now all those "luxury" condos are empty shells, and all those smart new restaurants and shops are for lease.

Does Bloomberg scurry away in shame? Not a chance! You don't get to the top of the financial heap by having a conscience. He's the bus driver who falls asleep at the wheel, then asks for overtime pay to cart away the bodies. Now he's spending a stack of cash on campaign commercials, airing wall-to-wall on primetime TV nine months before his second term expires.

(Sure, the voters agreed on a two-term limit for him, but he overturned that law knowing for sure they were wrong.)

His campaign message is clear. He can fix this mess.

"For today's new challenges," the commercial's narrator says, "Mike Bloomberg's five-borough economic opportunity plan will create or save 400,000 jobs. . . . [There will be] a focus on creating new, high-value jobs in biotech and green technologies, and help for middle-class families struggling to make ends meet."

Which, you know, sounds okay. Until you realize: hey, he's the guy who created this mess. We're struggling because Bloomberg screwed us. Besides, if he could do anything, why hasn't he? We've lost 85,000 jobs since August. We're expected to lose 181,000 more jobs this year.

And what's he done? So far this year the city's career centers have found jobs for 5,000 people --with wages averaging below the poverty level.

He watched as Wall Street criminals build their own Gotham City, and as it crashes around us he says he can help people trapped in the rubble.

Um, no thanks. We've learned our lesson. Now we're stuck with a city for rich folks, but there's no rich folks left.

Welcome to Mike Bloomberg's New York. Would you like fries with that?