So last week I'm flipping the TV channels, and I stop at CNN to see what's up. This dude in a suit is talking about those tea parties the Republicans are having to protest high taxes, and how stupid everybody looked. He says the Republicans are going nuts now that they don't hold no offices, and he says they're "searching for their voice."

Then this Anderson Cooper guy says, "It's hard to talk when you're tea-bagging."

Now, everybody on the show laughs at this, which confuses me. I mean, I'm pretty sure I could toss stuff into the Pacific Ocean and talk at the same time, and I wear Velcro shoes. My friend Joe Bob nearly chokes on a chicken wing, but he says it just went down the wrong way. Anyway, I forget all about it until I'm reading this Christian website, World Net Daily. This Joseph Farah guy is boiling mad about this exact same thing. He says Anderson Cooper told a dirty joke, and we should all be really pissed off. "'Tea-bagging' is known in the homosexual subculture as a practice involving a particular form of oral sex," he says.

Heck, even I know what he's talking about here, and I had a moustache in second grade. I mean, there's only so much you can do with a naked man and your mouth, and polishing the knob's already got a name.

Anyway, now I'm boiling mad too, and I'm gonna write to the President and my congressman and tell them so. Anderson Cooper should be fired, or at least be forced to explain to us what he's talking about. But first I'm writing to you, Mr. Farah. Thank you for sharing your knowledge of gay sex with us on the internet. Just yesterday Joe Bob asked me if I'd ever thought about felching, and I'm beginning to think that it ain't shootin' birds.

Sure, maybe the kids didn't need to read about it, but they'll probably stop running around the neighborhood yelling "WHO WANTS TO TEA-BAG ME?" in a week or two.


(Via Joe.My.God)