Last night, Natalie and I were having a nice romantic conversation together. And at one point, she told me that she was going to quote the movie "Jerry Maguire." She told me, "you had me at hello. . . . " That was really sweet and it made me smile. And since we were on a "Jerry Maguire" theme, I tell her, "show me the money!" She was really disappointed in me. She said that my first thought should have been, "you complete me. . . . "
Oh God, that's demeaning. I'm literally sitting here cringing for this guy. "Let's talk about our love using lines from "Jerry Maguire"!" the woman says. And then he picks the wrong line and suffers the wrath of her disappointment. Yeah, that'll be rough. She won't offer him a forkful of her cranberry chicken salad come dinnertime or call him her Hunky Wunky Cookiepuss in the sack. I think we all know who's gonna be pushing the stroller when little Heather and Henry come along.
And you know, I'm all for Theme Night. If she wants to reenact scenes from "Bad Santa," I'm cool. She wants to swap dialog from "Showgirls," I'll bite. But noooo. Chicks fixate on romantic movies and turn healthy, strapping dudes into wimps.
Reason #287 I'm glad to be gay: Gay men don't get pussy whipped.
3 comments:
Um, I'd beg to differ. I've seen plenty of pussy whipped gay guys, even though their partner has no pussy.
I thought "pussy whip" was some kind of awful prune dessert served in a Hello Kitty bowl. But of course no gay man would ever make an awful dessert.
My ex-husband used to penis whip me. I developed a thicker skin, as well as a faster tongue.
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