The Christian film website MovieGuide has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that America wants to see "movies with very strong Christians and redemptive, biblical or moral worldviews," not "unbiblical, anti-Christian or immoral" crap.

Their evidence? The family-friendly Indiana Jones film grossed far more than Zombie Strippers.

My favorite part of their report is the rating system. Films with some homosexual content are rated Ho; films with moderate homosexual content are HoHo, and really, really homosexual films get a HoHoHo.

Which seems to tie gay sex in with opening presents under the Christmas tree, but Christians have never made sense to me.

Also making their list of HoHoHo films are Kiss the Bride and The Love Guru. Got that? We not only caused Hurricane Katrina and Israeli earthquakes, we're responsible for Tori Spelling and Mike Myers too.