Mario Batali is Ready for a Throwdown!

The Food Network is a disaster these days, a steaming pot of chocolate ratatouille. They've dumped their best chefs -- adios, Sarah Moulton! ciao, Jamie Oliver! -- and even cancelled semi-educational crap like "Emeril Live" in favor of showcasing big-titted women whose main qualifications seem to be that they're sleeping with their producers.

And now, depending on who you listen to, either the Food Network turned down Mario Batali's new program or he didn't give them a chance to buy it. Seems like the latter is probably true since the show — a food tour of Spain with Gwyneth Paltrow — will air on prime time PBS.

Naturally the Food Network claims it's the former. "It was not the right fit for us," declared Bob Tuschman, senior VP and ubiquitous judge of folksy debacles like their Extreme Fortune Cookie Challenge. Seems like he's forgotten their soon-to-debut "Rachael's Vacation," which will follow you-know-who around the world with the guy who gossips say likes to wizz on girls.

Leave it to Mario Batali to clean up this mess. “They don’t need me," he admitted. "They have decided they are mass market and they are going after the Wal-Mart crowd,” which he said was “a smart business decision. So they don’t need someone who uses polysyllabic words from other languages.”

Bravo, Mario. We love your food and we love your plain-speaking. Your clogs, not so much.

Mario Batali Is Ready for a Throwdown!