Oh, puh-leeze! I did eighty-something hits of blotter acid while I was in college and I didn't do anything near this weird. What's wrong with little girls, and why are we encouraging them? They want to be princesses. They want to be ballerinas. And now they want to be giant peacocks too. Honestly, if I were a policeman and I saw this thing coming at me, I'd shoot it faster than a black guy with a hairbrush.
What's next? Kittens? Monkeys? Sea cucumbers? "Look, Barbie!" she'll squeal. "You and I are warty leeches that keep the ocean bottom clean of fish feces!"
Frankly, I pity the heterosexual male who ends up marrying one of these nuts. "I realize you used to be a princess and a giant peacock, sweetie," he'll say to his future wife, "but I can't do all the cooking and cleaning forever."
Still, I'm a realist: I know what little girls are like. If this gets them to spend more time outside, sitting on the roof and calling out for a mate, maybe it's not such a bad gift.
2 comments:
The "warty leeches" bit caused me to laugh and spew Mountain Dew all over my monitor you Naughty, Naughty Boy.
Roman, you should be smarter than that, and support our bird-transitioning children.
I've felt like an ostrich trapped in a human body ever since I first pecked for food. I hope one day this little girl will realize her dream to join the animal kingdom.
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