Arizonans Whacked By Enormous Haboobs

And they're not happy about it.

The National Weather Service has a name for particularly thick dust storms that sweep through dry, dusty states: haboobs. This year, though, the use of that term by Arizona weathermen has stirred up a storm of controversy almost as thick as the capricious haboobs.

Diane Robinson of Wickenburg, Ariz. says the state’s dust storms are far different from Middle Eastern ones. “Excuse me, Mr. Weatherman!” she cried in a letter to the editor. “Who gave you the right to use the word ‘haboob’ in describing our recent dust storm? While you may think there are similarities, don’t forget that in these parts our dust is mixed with the whoop of the Indian’s dance, the progression of the cattle herd and warning of the rattlesnake as it lifts its head to strike.”

Don Yonts, a resident of Gilbert, Ariz., hasn't read quite as many Harlequin romances. He just doesn't like Americans using Arabic words. “I am insulted that local TV news crews are now calling this kind of storm a haboob,” he wrote to The Arizona Republic. “How do they think our soldiers feel coming back to Arizona and hearing some Middle Eastern term?”

Just out of cultural sensitivity, I think we should address their concerns. It's easy enough to make up a new word that keeps the original word's feel while losing its foreignness. "Dustitties" and "sandumplings" spring to mind. I'm pretty sure our returning military men and women won't have problems with either of those. Besides, once they spot one of these massive parchachas aimed straight at their heads, I think they'll have other things to worry about.