"I'm looking at the lay of the land now, and . . . trying to figure that out, if [running for president is] a good thing for the country, for the discourse, for my family, if it's a good thing," Sarah Palin told Barbara Walters.

Dear Sarah:

I'm a huge fan of yours, but after much concerted thought I think you'll have to agree the answer is no. If you became president, you'd have to move to Washington, and without your firm guidance your family would splinter. Willow might start drunkenly trashing neighborhood houses, Track might get addicted to "hillbilly heroin," and Bristol might sleep around or, God forbid, get pregnant, and make a fool of herself on national --

Oh. Really? Then give 'em hell, girlfriend!

RomanHans