See, I think we can agree on something here: this man is being slowly driven insane by his penis. Most penises just say, "Must fuck pretty woman" or "Must fuck handsome man," but his is on another wavelength entirely. It's got more exotic demands, and obviously he's got to follow through. He has no choice. He just hopes that tomorrow it doesn't make him hang around a petting zoo with hay stuffed up his ass.
I've had enough of regular people. I'm sick of hearing stuff like, "Roman, I'd totally do you, but I'm looking for someone with more possibilities of career advancement." And when I actually get them in the sack, the requirements intensity. "Roman, that feels good, but I can't really come unless you tie me up and say 'Who's my wove swave?' in Ed Asner's voice."
I think this is the biggest difference between humans and the animal kingdom: animals don't complain during sex. Turtles don't whine about how you're touching their shell. Cows don't say they'll never orgasm unless you compliment their cuds.
I don't know when sex got so many requirements: I'm thinking Cosmopolitan might be responsible. When I was a kid, you just fucked, and the fuckees smiled and thanked you. Now, it's out of control. You've got to suck this while rubbing that while spinning a plate on a stick. You have to aim for certain spots, like you're controlling some penile SWAT Team. Whatever happened to just blindly satisfying myself? There shouldn't be requirements. Disneyland wouldn't be nearly as popular if you had to lube up Mickey Mouse before you could get in.
Frankly, about four minutes into coitus with most people, I realize I'd be under far less pressure if I'd just stayed at work. Sex is supposed to be fun, right? I shouldn't be sweating like Bruce Willis trying to stop a runaway train.
When I have sex with regular people, they're never happy. No one has ever bragged to their friends about how great I was in the sack. With this guy, though, it's a possibility, because what do you think his requirements are in a partner? I think "Don't run away screaming!" is probably it. Everything else is gravy.
These are the people I specialize in: men being driven insane by their penises. Just by showing up I meet their requirements.
So color me interested, pantylover. Fingers crossed, I might actually be able to satisfy a dude. And hey, maybe I'll even surprise him. Once in a while I might moan something like "Don't taunt me with your treasures, sweet vixen" or "I don't know Victoria's Secret, but I can sure guess yours!" and I'll bet dude will be so grateful he'll do me until the cows come home.
1 comment:
This man was a Canadian airforce colnon. He raped and murdered women who were also in the airforce.. He enjoyed dressing in his victims clothing after/during killing them. Therefore this pic could be of him dressed in one of his victoms clothes. fyi.
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