8:00 - 8:24 Men in speedos pretend nobody notices their pokey bits
8:25 - 8:43 Round-table discussion: Does the evil eye work? Maximizing American victory
8:44 - 9:02 Pretaped profile: "Michael Phelps: A Regular Guy Who Eats 9,000 Calories a Day and Has Never Done His Own Laundry"
9:03 - 9:17 Russian fencers place fourth, ponder how they'll be killed
9:18 - 9:37 American athletes screw up things they've done millions of times
9:38 - 9:52 Exclusive Bob Costas poll: Which toupee is better, this or this?
9:53 - 10:01 Watch guy who does nothing but eat, sleep and swim eat
10:02 - 10:14 Chinese women gymnasts yearn for medals, real lives, puberty
10:15 - 10:38 Women in bikinis act like somebody gives a damn about volleyball
10:39 - 11:02 Watch guy who does nothing but eat, sleep and swim sleep
11:03 - 11:05 Chinese gymnast injured trying to hug Martha Karolyi
11:06 - 11:18 Controversy after the Chinese replace several weightlifters with artist's renderings
11:19 - 11:55 Watch guy who does nothing but eat, sleep and swim swim
11:56 - 12:00 Exclusive NBC poll: Should the US keep letting foreigners compete for medals meant for us?
#DescribeYourselfIn5Words - Filed under: Poem
11 hours ago