Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Nope, I sure shouldn't go there -- but John McCain himself has thrown open the door and practically shoved me through.

For somebody who's constantly complaining about the race card, he plays the POW card a lot. Every day he seems to come up with another convenient memory, ranging from the questionable (the cross-in-the-sand story, seemingly copied from Solzhenitsyn) to the offensive (declaring without elaboration that "a lot of [his captors] were homosexual" and got off on whipping the prisoners).

Here are a few of the latest memories Mr. McCain has announced. See if you find them a little odd.

1. Before he left home, he tattooed hundreds of tiny drawings all over his
body in order to help him break out.

2. It seems like every time he took a shower Christopher Meloni was there.

3. Once he barely dodged death by convincing a guy it was duck season.

4. The lesbian prison matron was always poking fights with Adrienne Barbeau.

5. He ate twice as many hard-boiled eggs as Paul Newman.

6. He had a pet mouse named Mr. Jingles that a big black dude kept bringing back to life.

7. He spent eight months in solitary, three months at hard labor, and six months building a bridge over the river Kwai.

8. He'd just about given up hope when a plucky rooster showed up with plans to build a catapult.

9. His least favorite captor? Colonel Klink.

10. He remembers writing in his journal that he still believed, in spite of everything, that people are really good at heart.


David said...

Didn't he also keep a poster of Betty Grable on his cell wall?

Attila the Fun said...

Wish #2 would happen to me, woof!