Random Thought Thursday

Why is it they can put a man on the moon but they can't make a liquor bottle that holds more than one serving?

At work the other day I signed up for a 401K. Was that a mistake? I can't run twelve feet without cramping.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but only after everyone's decided kicking isn't going to help.

The women in Indiana are hotter than the women in California. Though maybe it's just because the suspenders make their tits look bigger.

If the post office were in charge of the airwaves, right now I'd be listening to 197-34397-523 Groove Radio.

I thought it was hard to walk on gravel, then I met a woman with a wheelie cart.

I'm very inventive in bed. Just this morning, in fact, I made a cotton gin.

They call me "Casino Willie," because when I take off my clothes that's what everybody says.

A new store just opened here in New York called "The Best of L. A." It looked like they had some pretty cool stuff, but it was so crowded I accidentally knocked over the tostada display.

I saw a bunch of priests on vacation once and when I sneezed they refused to bless me.