Friday, August 8, 2008

Ten Things You'll Think While Watching "The Dark Knight"

1. Wow. I've got both halves of my face and I still can't control my drool.

2. The Joker looks pretty damned freaky, but why's he doing the Al Franken impression?

3. Really. Every bullet shot into a wall shatters in exactly the same way. Really.

4. Is Maggie Gyllenhaal really a great actress, or can anybody make Katie Holmes look like a lump of cheese?

5. So, Batman's got a special Atmospheric Suit to protect him from high altitudes. How about the guy he's carrying?

6. Christ, kid -- your hero just FELL OFF A BUILDING. Try to sound, you know, SAD.

7. If my torso was covered with open sores, I think I'd wear an undershirt, thanks.

8. That Two-Face is a great, great new villain. I can't wait to see his character develop and deepen over the next few. . . . Oh. Never mind.

9. I didn't realize boat captains always carry five hundred identical little scraps of paper with them just in case the passengers need to vote.

10. What is this shit?


David said...

Or you could simply not go see the movie.

RomanHans said...

David, it's in IMAX. I'd watch my grandma pick her nose in IMAX.