Ten Things You'll Think While Watching "The Dark Knight"

1. Wow. I've got both halves of my face and I still can't control my drool.

2. The Joker looks pretty damned freaky, but why's he doing the Al Franken impression?

3. Really. Every bullet shot into a wall shatters in exactly the same way. Really.

4. Is Maggie Gyllenhaal really a great actress, or can anybody make Katie Holmes look like a lump of cheese?

5. So, Batman's got a special Atmospheric Suit to protect him from high altitudes. How about the guy he's carrying?

6. Christ, kid -- your hero just FELL OFF A BUILDING. Try to sound, you know, SAD.

7. If my torso was covered with open sores, I think I'd wear an undershirt, thanks.

8. That Two-Face is a great, great new villain. I can't wait to see his character develop and deepen over the next few. . . . Oh. Never mind.

9. I didn't realize boat captains always carry five hundred identical little scraps of paper with them just in case the passengers need to vote.

10. What is this shit?