Make Money At Home!!!

Hello readers. Many of you have asked me: Roman, you don't seem to have a job, yet you have a fabulously louche life on the outskirts of a fashionable part of New York. How on earth do you do it? My answer is, I work from home! In this high-tech capitalist mecca there are always thousands of companies developing new products, and these companies are desperate for happening young trend-setters to offer their critiques. Every day I get another few emails frantically asking: Roman, how do you feel about this? How do you feel about that? And there's always, always, a paycheck involved.

Yes, to put it bluntly, I make a living answering surveys. I stumbled across one years ago and since then it's turned into a never-ending font of cash. I pooh-pooh all those stay-at-home moms who blame their poverty on a dearth of useful skills. Um, what kind of skill does it take to check a box asking whether you're male or female? Or those unemployed, hopeless folks who keep whining about going to back to school. Who needs an education when you can rake in the bucks without even leaving your easy chair?

Greenfield Online is one of largest of the survey companies, sending me an average of three or four a week. Here's one I got just yesterday:



Sure, it raises a few questions, like "How are they going to get useful information when financial experts probably balk at making sixty cents an hour?" But let's not bite the hand that nearly feeds us! Just click on a few hundred boxes and wait six weeks for the cash to clink in. Where else are you going to find that kind of silver bounty? I mean, aside from on the ground. And sure, you could just ask somebody for a quarter and save yourself twenty-four minutes, but that's not the work ethic that this country was founded on! A hard day's work for a hard day's pay, that's what my dad always says. Does he complain about being fired by Ford after thirty years' work? No! He's filling out those surveys as fast as he can, and by noon he's earned almost enough money to buy half a can of beans.

So, tell your friends! Tell your co-workers! Just don't tell anybody in the government, because they might try to shut down this money machine. And don't tell any foreigners, because if these things get outsourced to India, Dad and I are up shit creek.