In his first major address at an Australian youth festival, Pope Benedict XVI warned that the world was being devastated by humanity's "insatiable consumption." He appealed to his audience to make religion the focus of their lives, and warned of the hazards of materialism.

On the bright side, he added, "I think that people are starting to see that commercialism -- the pursuit of money and cars and things like that -- doesn't bring them happiness."

The pope then shuffled offstage to riotous applause, pausing only briefly to bitchslap a bishop who accidently scuffed his Gucci loafers.