Grandma's Hearty Drug Recipe

Ohmigod. I am like totally in shock. I just found out that my Grandma -- my favorite Nana who always sent me a roll of pennies every year for my birthday, even when I was twenty-four -- was a major hophead. I still can't believe it. I mean, the woman played bingo, went to early bird dinners, wore shawls. But the evidence is absolutely indisputable.

Somebody told me about the No Slang website designed to alert adults to the new drug terminology kids use these days, and a lot of the words rang a bell with me. Finally I placed them: Grandma's Hearty Baked Potato Soup recipe. I put it through their drug slang translator and still can't believe my eyes. The woman was a veritable Robert Downey Jr. of the senior set.

Well, at least that explains her glassy stare and her constant smile. Ohmigod -- and why everybody used to rave about her cooking at those church potlucks.

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Hearty Baked Potato Soup

3 lbs. potato, cleaned
1 bunch broccoli
1/4 cup butter or margarine
6 cups water
medium onion
small spoon seasoned salt
4 oz. cheese, shredded

Dice the potato. Microwave until baked. Chop broccoli. Microwave until limp. Cut the onion into cubes. Melt the butter in a pot over medium heat and add onion. Fry 30 seconds until softened. Add water, potato, and broccoli, and cook through. Season to taste with salt and black pepper. Serve alone or topped with anything that sounds good to you.

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Hearty high on marijuana LSD Crack cocaine

3 lbs. LSD, cleaned
1 bunch Marijuana
1/4 cup Marijuana;Cocaine or margarine
6 cups Blunts; methamphetamine; PCP; a mixture of marijuana and other substances within a cigar; Gamma hydroxybutyrate (GHB)
medium 1 oz. of crack cocaine
small 1/16 ounce of heroin; paraphernalia used to prepare heroin for injection seasoned Heroin
4 Inhalants. Heroin, shredded

Dice the LSD. Microwave until high on marijuana. Chop Marijuana. Microwave until limp. Adulterate drugs the 1 oz. of crack cocaine into Marijuana tablets; crack cocaine. Melt the Marijuana;Cocaine Connected with drug suppliers LSD Marijuana over medium The police or narcotics officers and add 1 oz. of crack cocaine. Marijuana cigarettes dippedConnected with drug suppliers embalming fluid, sometimes also laced with PCP; Crack Cocaine 30 Second inhalation of crack from a pipe until softened. Add Blunts; methamphetamine; PCP; a mixture of marijuana and other substances within a cigar; Gamma hydroxybutyrate (GHB), LSD, and Marijuana, and Drug manufacturer;A term used to refer to cocaine or a drug environment heroin with water; heating heroin to prepare it for injection through. Season to Heroin; small sample of drugs with Heroin and Marijuana; opium; methamphetamine pepper. Serve alone or topped with anything that sounds PCP; heroin to you.