Tuesday, July 15, 2008

How To Tell If Your Olive Garden Waitress Has Posed For "Playboy"

-- When you tell her you've got reservations she says the doctors have pronounced her clean.

-- You ask if she likes minestrone and she says, "Buddy, if you got enough money, I don't care how big you are!"

-- You compliment her on her overstuffed ravioli and she says she's still making payments on them.

-- You ask what the chef's specialty is, and she snaps, "Well, it sure ain't foreplay."

-- She sucks all the salt off your breadsticks.

-- When you ask her what linguini is, she licks her lips and says it's her second favorite noodle.

-- You ask how the gnocchi are and she says "They're still a little tender, thanks."

-- You tell her there's no cream in your cannoli and she says, "Well, let's wait ten minutes and try again."

-- When you ask if she has shaved parmesan, she says it's not really your business but she always gets a Brazilian wax.

-- She offers to show you what "al dente" means but you'd have to pull down your pants.

(Via Alex Balk.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My husband and I really like Olive Garden. We went to one just last Saturday. The hostess really stood out with her bright white dress shirt and colorful tie. However, he tie was crooked and the left side of her collar was sticking up. I'm surprised no one mentioned it to her or fix her tie and her coller for her. As we were about to be seated, I mentioned to her about her crooked tie and her twisted up collar. She replied, "thank you, I'll have fix that." Well about an hour later when we left, I noticed that her tie was still crooked and the left side of her collar was still sticking straight up. I guess it wasn't noticeable to anyone else.