Wait . . . is the stuff in the Bible supposed to be TRUE?

Thousands of years ago in a desert far, far away, there was a judge who was renowned for his wisdom. Two women came to him with a baby that each claimed was hers, and it was up to him to decide who'd get custody. He thought and thought and finally announced his decision.

"Let's cut the baby at the waist," he declared, "and each of you will get half."

One of the women immediately went pale. "NO!" she screamed. "DON'T KILL MY BABY! Give it to that other woman, but don't cut the poor thing in half!"

"AHA!" the judge said, glowing with insight. "Then you must be the child's mother, because you love it so much you'd rather give it up than see it hurt. I award the baby to you!"

The spectators cheered and everyone came away happy, and from here until the end of time this story will be used as an example of judicial wisdom. Except, well, it's got just a small flaw. It leaves out the response of the other woman to the judge's decision. When we make up her dialog the whole thing starts to sound, well, preposterous:

"Cut the baby in half?" she'd reply. "Why, that's . . . that's . . . fabulous! Sure, ideally I wanted a whole baby, since partial ones tend to have health problems and leave their sheets rather spotty. But half is better than nothing! I'm thinking bookend, or paperweight, or hand-puppet. Okay, buddy -- hack away! I got dibs on the upper half!"