Dennis Kozlowski knows why he was found guilty.

Dennis Kozlowski stole millions of dollars from Tyco International, treating the company as his own private piggy bank. In a shopping spree that makes New York gays look Amish, he bought a $50,000 umbrella stand, a $6,000 shower curtain, and threw a toga party that cost two million dollars. Tyco dumped him from their board and the police investigated, and after he was sentenced to a maximum of 25 years in prison his wife and friends dumped him too.

Last night he appeared on "60 Minutes." "I was a guy sitting in a courtroom making $100 million a year," he told their reporter from his jail cell. "And I think a juror sitting there just would have to say, `All that money? He must have done something wrong.' I think ... it's as simple as that."

Yeah, bud -- your guilt's got nothing to do with it. All us poor folks are just stupid and vindictive, and can't wait to get back at you rich folk whether you deserve it or not. That's why Sam Walton is currently sharing a cell at Rykers with Donald Trump and Bill Gates.