Wrap Your Lips Around a Big Mo'

I just got a press release from the R. M. Palmer Company advertising their new Dale Earnhardt Jr. candy bar. I'm not a huge candy fan, but for some reason this one sounds pretty tempting. I haven't found any in my neighborhood, but I'm keeping an eye out.

After months of anticipation by NASCAR and candy fans alike, "Dale Jr.'s Big Mo'" chocolate bar is now available at retailers near you.

The Big Mo' was introduced specifically for NASCAR's mega-star driver by the R. M. Palmer Company. With a name taken from Earnhardt Jr.'s hometown of Mooresville, N.C., the Big Mo' was specifically tailored to please his palate, taste-tested personally by Earnhardt Jr. until he declared himself one-hundred percent satisfied.

What is a Big Mo'? It's delightfully different from what you'd find in an ordinary bar. A super-sized slab of pure sensual pleasure, it hides a thick shaft of milky goodness capped with more than a mouthful of nuts.

Go ahead: give in to your desire. Strip off its wrapper and gently caress the velvety curves with your tongue. Feel it warm inside your mouth. Squeeze in as much of its sweet, creamy goodness as you can handle, and make sure your lips are sealed tight as it shoots its sweet jets of gooey ecstacy deep down into your throat.

You'll find Big Mo's everywhere: at the drug store, at the movies, at Target next to the Choxie. Thanks to Dale Earnhardt Jr. and R. M. Palmer, NASCAR fans can wrap their lips around a Big Mo' any time, day or night.

Richard Palmer Jr., president of R. M. Palmer, says the company has been overwhelmed by the positive response. "We'd never have guessed how frequently NASCAR fans would want to pick up a Big Mo'," he proudly announced. "Heck, I've already had three today."

Next up for the company? A bar named for Brandi Chastain's hometown: Dikeman, Arizona.



Wrap Your Lips Around a Big Mo'

(Via Mr. Sardonic)