You have a new message from CLOCK in BEDROOM. Read now? Y/N. Y
Good morning ROMAN HANS! The time that you pre-programmed has arrived. Wake up and have a fantastic day! Thank you for buying WESTCLOX, America's choice for scheduling matters.
You have a new message from SHOWER in BATHROOM. Read now? Y/N. Y
Hello ROMAN. The water temperature has now reached ONE HUNDRED TWELVE degrees. You may enter without threat of bodily harm. Thank you for choosing PFIZER and have a low pressure day!
You have a new message from SOAP in SHOWER. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from SHOWER in BATHROOM. Read now? Y/N. Y
I am sorry to have to inform you but we currently experiencing unforeseen temperature fluctuations due to SOMEBODY FLUSHED THE TOILET. We are confident this situation will soon pass and you can go back to enjoying your PFIZER shower.
You have a new message from TOWEL in BATHROOM. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from SOCK DRAWER in BEDROOM. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from SONY MICROWAVE OVEN in KITCHEN. Read now? Y/N. Y
Good day ROMAN! Your TRADER JOE'S FAJITA BURRITO is ready. Thank you for buying SONY, the company America trusts with their meals!
You have a new message from TOYOTA TACOMA in PARKING GARAGE. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from GATE in PARKING GARAGE. Read now? Y/N. Y
Good morning ROMAN! Please wait until I'm completely open before proceeding through. Thanks, and have a safe day!
You have a new message from GATE in PARKING GARAGE. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from TOYOTA TACOMA in STREET. Read now? Y/N. Y
Hello ROMAN. Our sensors detect a pothole FIFTEEN FEET ahead. Even the smallest pothole can cause possible wheel misalignment, so take care to steer clear. Have a great day, and enjoy the drive!
You have a new message from TOYOTA TACOMA in STREET. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from TOYOTA TACOMA in STREET. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from TRADER JOE'S in MANHATTAN. Read now? Y/N. Y
We regret to inform you that the FROZEN FAJITA BURRITO you ordered has been discontinued and will not be restocked. We wish to express our apologies, and hope you continue shopping at Trader Joe's.
You have a new message from TOYOTA TACOMA in STREET. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from TOYOTA TACOMA in STREET. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from TRAFFIC SIGNAL in STREET. Read now? Y/N. Y
Hello. You are fast approaching a traffic signal. In an estimated four seconds, you will be very close to it. But in THREE SECONDS it will turn yellow, then red. Take care! And thank you for using GANSEVOORT STREET.
You have a new message from TOYOTA TACOMA in STREET. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from VISA CARD in NEW YORK CITY. Read now? Y/N. Y
Hello. This is your Visa Card. CARLITO'S COMICS just posted a FOUR DOLLAR debit against your account. If you have not authorized this transaction, contact us. Have a great day, and thank you for using Visa!
You have a new message from TOYOTA TACOMA in STREET. Read now? Y/N. Y
Hello. I am running out of gas. I've messaged you SIX times but you refused to respond. Please stop for fuel at your earliest possible convenience. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
You have a new message from TRADER JOE'S in MANHATTAN. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from SONY TELEVISION SET in BEDROOM. Read now? Y/N. Y
At ten o'clock this morning, another classic episode of CAGNEY AND LACEY will air on TBS. Cagney is drawn into the seedy world of dog racing when Mary Beth's cousin is kidnapped. Will they find the kidnappers, or will our heroes let a killer slip through their fingers? Find out!
You have a new message from TOYOTA TACOMA in STREET. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from SOCK DRAWER in BEDROOM. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from TRADER JOE'S in MANHATTAN. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from SONY TELEVISION SET in BEDROOM. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from TOYOTA TACOMA in STREET. Read now? Y/N. Y
WOULD YOU PLEASE GET GAS?
You have a new message from SOAP in SHOWER. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from BROOKLYN BRIDGE in NEW YORK CITY. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from FICUS in LIVING ROOM. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from TOYOTA TACOMA in STREET. Read now? Y/N. N
You have a new message from BLACKBERRY in HUDSON RIVER. Read now? Y/N. jwFJ912784
Good day ROMAN. I detect the presence of water. Please ensure that I remain completely dry so I can continue sending you mesJS71189$0-1KxdM
Monday, October 1, 2007
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9 comments:
I don't know if I'll be able to rest, not knowing what the Sock Drawer and the Soap were so urgently trying to tell you. Hey, it might have been important!
You sound extremely stressed out. On another note, you drive a TACOMA?!
I believe Sock Drawer was empty, and Soap was down to a sliver. But I'll have to confirm it with them.
Here's a question for you: according to your profile, you're a construction worker in ICELAND? How's that working out?
And Anon, what's wrong with a Tacoma? It's like a starter truck for the young and very possibly manly.
Nothing wrong with a Tacoma! It's actually a very rugged/manly type of car, which is why I was so impressed. It was meant as a compliment.
Oh. Sorry, I'm a little sensitive. I spent two years driving a Honda CRX and thought I looked really sporty. Then I realized I'd never seen another male driving that make of car. . . .
So, when Soap gets down to a sliver, do its messages get shorter and shorter, its voice ever more thin and thready? And what does the Sock Drawer say when it's empty -- "FEED ME!"??
I'm only a construction worker in Iceland this week. Next week, who knows, maybe I'll be painting the toenails of exotic pet chickens in Hawaii.
I think a CRX is a really cool car (maybe I'm also under some dellusion?), but I have to ask, how did you EVER fit yourself into it?
tacomas make guys look hot.
now roman, i'm not saying you need the help of your truck to look hot... but, everytime i drive by a tacoma-driving guy i have to look twice. there's just something about them.
they're sporty and manly, yet not in-your-face like a full-fledged tundra or f-150.
ahhh... men in tacomas.
Anon, my thoughts exactly! The Tacoma is the perfect vehicle.
I liked the CRX, but the peer pressure got to me. ("That's a chick's car!") Plus, it was an effort fitting in it: I recline less on a towel at the beach. Seriously, when I turned to the side I'd be looking out the back seat window, yet my hair still grazed the roof.
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