Ram Tough

We know exactly two things about all those oversized American trucks: one, they burn through enormous amounts of gasoline. Two, they're driven by men with small dicks. Or is there some other explanation for why the truck names are indistinguishable from the brand names of penis pumps? Here's a list of a few of each: see if you can tell them apart.

a. Grand Stallion
b. Nitro
c. Ramrod
d. Sport Trac Adrenalin
e. Red Studmaster
f. Explorer
g. Magnum
h. Gladiator
i. Ranger
j. Commando
k. Power Man 6000
l. F-250 Super Duty

Answers: b, d, f, i and l are American trucks. a, c, e, g, j and k are penis pumps. h is both. Here's more information on them for all the small-dicked dudes out there.

a. The Grand Stallion has a tapered latex sleeve and easy-to-use gliding action

b. The Dodge Nitro is powered by a 4.0 L SOHC V6 engine rather than AA batteries.

c. The Ramrod has a battery pack conveniently attached for single-handed operation.

d. The Ford Sport Trac Adrenalin has a blown 4.6 engine making 390 pound-feet of torque.

e. The Red Studmaster has a studded adjustable cock ring.

f. The Ford Explorer is available in an Eddie Bauer edition.

g. The Magnum is equipped with a new safety vacuum gauge.

h. With a three-foot clearance, the Jeep Gladiator could easily clear anybody's penis. The silicone Gladiator is red and has internal nubs.

i. The Ford Ranger has a towing capacity of 4,200 penis pumps.

j. The Commando is penis-shaped, with a multi-speed vibrating bullet. We told our boyfriend we don't know even what that means.

k. You can use the Power Man 6000 with or without the pleasure ring attachment. Storage bag included.

l. The Ford F-250 Super Duty is twenty feet long. We bet its owners claim it's twenty-five.