Karaoke Monday

Oh yea yea yea.

Now I'm a good Christian who's found his mate,
but there is this one thing that makes me irate.
It's like every time I step in a sauna
there's some naked dude who says, "Hey, you wanna?"

But don't let my irritation
disguise my real elation.
Really I'm glad.
Oh, I'm gladder than glad.
With my friends I pretend that I'm mad
I act like it's horribly bad.

Now there's some chicks I like to kiss,
but they'll never make me miss
the queers of our town
when my wife's not around.

Mm-hmm. Oh yea, baby.

Now if I appear to be straitlaced,
it's only an act so you won't hate me.
In order to shield my pride I try
to pretend that guys don't masturbate me.

But don't let my angry venom
make you think I won't drop denim
tonight at the mall.
Don't think that at all.
I'll be there, in my usual stall
with the hole that's cut right through the wall.

Oooh, oh.

There's some chicks I think are cute
but they just can't make me shoot
like the queers of our town
when my wife's not around.

Just like Liberace did,
I try to keep my urges hid.
Acting like it's girls I bone
While in the back seat I get blown
by the queers of our town
when there's no one around.

Oh yea baby.

Now if there's a frown upon my face
Don't let that harsh demeanor
Make you dodge my aching weiner.
Don't let my re-election
Distract you from my erection.

Really I'm queer
so just slide over here. . . .