Why I'm Gay

Quotes from the male losers on Top Shot:

• It's all good.
• Oh well.
• Guess it wasn't my time.
• I'd hoped to do better than that.

Quotes from the female losers on The Bachelor:

• I don't know why I'm crying. I didn't even like him.
• It isn't fair. I really put myself out there, and it just isn't fair. OH GOD WHY OH WHY OH WHY?
• I had onions in my pizza. I shouldn't have had that onion and peppers and everything on my pizza. And I had four slices.
• I deserve better than, like, standing here crying right now. I feel like I deserve to be smiling and laughing and talking with Brad, not heading back to my crummy apartment.
• I came here to fall in love, not to hit another girl with my best shoes.