Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Why I'm Gay

Quotes from the male losers on Top Shot:
  • It's all good.
  • Oh well.
  • Guess it wasn't my time.
  • I'd hoped to do better than that.
Quotes from the female losers on The Bachelor:
  • I don't know why I'm crying. I didn't even like him.
  • It isn't fair. I really put myself out there, and it just isn't fair. OH GOD WHY OH WHY OH WHY?
  • I had onions in my pizza. I shouldn't have had that onion and peppers and everything on my pizza. And I had four slices.
  • I deserve better than, like, standing here crying right now. I feel like I deserve to be smiling and laughing and talking with Brad, not heading back to my crummy apartment.
  • I came here to fall in love, not to hit another girl with my best shoes.

1 comment:

jeesau said...

Oh the humanity! As I read each quote I was expecting a reference to "bringing it" but thankfully you spared us all.

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