Thursday, June 12, 2008

Let's make this perfectly clear: the Boy Scouts are as discriminatory as the Ku Klux Klan. The only way you can justify supporting or even tolerating them is to proclaim that they also do some good.

Which, IMHO, isn't good enough.

Because where do you draw the line? Would the Nazis have been okay if they'd volunteered for Habitat for Humanity? Are anti-American terrorists okay if they help old ladies across the street? Are you really going to balance the benefits -- houses for poor folks, politeness -- against the negatives -- killing innocent people, crashing planes?

Apparently, though, we're willing to do just that. Boy Scouts: volunteerism, ethics codes, outings. Gays: probably wouldn't enjoy the camping stuff anyway, and there's so few of them around.

The Scouts have stubbornly clung to their homophobic membership rules, prompting the loss of many taxpayer-funded benefits. In response, they almost seemed to whine, "Well, then, we're taking our ball and going home!" Now that their 100th anniversary is coming up, though, they're coming back with a vengeance. They want their members back. They want their respect back. They want all that lost money back.

And as always, homosexuals need not apply.

NBC's "Deal or No Deal" was also born hypocritical. From Day One they decided it was okay to force women to dress like strippers as long as the contestants pretended they didn't notice. The man runs the show, the women stand around and look pretty.

We all pretended not to notice its offensiveness and it became America's most popular game show.

One argument the Scouts and their sympathizers use in defending their homophobia is that gay people shouldn't discuss sexuality. It has no part in scouting, and if gay people didn't bring it up it wouldn't be a problem.

And then Texas Scoutmaster Adam Hansen, accompanied by his wife, goes on the most heterosexual show on TV. There's a reason declares the models "the main attractions of the show." There's a reason the "girls" are featured prominently on websites like

This is a match made in heaven: an obnoxious, heterosexual TV program aligning with an obnoxious, heterosexual youth group. And what an advertisement last night's show was. Host Howie Mandel spouted praise for the Scouts over and over again. What ethics! What a great moral code! What a fantastic way to help our kids!

And then they'd cut to a shot of a model's boobs.

The show was full of "Huh?" moments. BSA policy says the uniform can only be for scouting activities and events. What's "Deal or No Deal," a Stripper Jamboree? Uniforms are to be respected -- unless you're hot, apparently, in which case they should be tied off just above the midriff.

In the end, Mr. Hansen took home $263,000 -- a huge win "for the boys" that was also going to buy him a new home. But his appearance made one thing perfectly clear:

Anyone who supports the Scouts -- or anyone who watches "Deal or No Deal" and quietly assents to this moral code -- deserves a merit badge in Hypocrisy.


Fred Goodwin said...

Anyone who compares the Boy Scouts to Nazis and terrorists is world class stupid, alright . . .

Yet Another Steve said...

Yes, we must resolutely close our eyes to the glaring similarities and pretend that Everything Is All Right.

RomanHans said...

Fred, see, there are only so many discriminatory organizations I could compare the Boy Scouts to. I could compare them to a muffin, see, or an octopus, or a can of Pringles. But none of those things discriminate against people on the basis of their sexuality. Therefore I'm pretty much constrained to comparing them to terrorists and Nazis. Sorry!

By the way, I checked out your profile. Republican Episcopal Military Bible Sports. Venture out of that overprivileged-white-guy reality much?