The Golden Globes Night of Mostly Underperforming Stars

Once again Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were smart, snappy hosts. The Guardian says their "sister act subverted the conversations that take place about celebrity women." Yes, the night was truly a feminist triumph, except for the part where a dude had to help them upstairs so they wouldn't trip on their gowns.

I don't think anybody could have predicted most of the winners, unless you knew which movies weren't particularly successful and had money left in their advertising budget. Patricia Arquette was a surprise winner for Boyhood. (The feminist triumph of Girlhood should hit theaters in 2027.) No sour grapes here: I mean, I'd give her a whole truckful of Golden Globes if she could play a mom who wasn't annoying.

Greer Grammer was a bright light in an occasionally dazzling evening. Clearly her assignment wasn't about connections or beauty: it was all about the work. And I know in the future she'll really be able to use that experience showing people how to find the exit of a theater.

Whenever I see Leonardo Dicaprio I think of Oscar Wilde. Not because of his wit or subversion but because in his attic I'll bet there's a painting of an attractive guy.

On the plus side, the night was lightweight, silly fun. Me, I loved hearing the screams of surprise when the winners were announced. I guess nobody knew if their checks had cleared or not.