A Chinese-born US citizen searched at LAX had a suitcase stuffed with a variety of weapons and oddities such as handcuffs, duct tape, masks, body bags, and cooking tongs.

Asked if he would like to declare anything, 28-year-old Yongda Huang Harris admitted he had a knife, but a search revealed he was also packing a gas mask, a biohazard suit, billy clubs, a baton, leg irons, oven mitts, an assortment of scissors, and "a device to repel dogs."

Oh, puh-leeze. A "device to repel dogs"? Here in America we call that a "vacuum cleaner."