Animal researchers in China have discovered that flamingos have sex more often when there are mirrors around. "When flamingos are separated from their flocks they become depressed and anxious," said one, "and they don't feel confident enough to have chicks."

RESEARCHER #1: See? We put the mirrors up, the flamingos feel more secure, and they have sex more frequently.

RESEARCHER #2: That must be it. I mean, the only other explanation is that they like to stare at themselves in the mirror and think, "Oh, that's so fuckin' hot! I'm totally plowing that little pink ass!"