I'm trying to get a German drivers' license and am dumbfounded by the government's official study app. We all know Germans are overprotective and borderline paranoid, but can't they pretend to be normal here? I mean, how do you study for a question like this?

"Before turning right at an intersection, you should:
1. Activate your turn signal.
2. Move into the right lane.
3. Be aware that goose attacks injure 27 people every year."

I am aware of goose attacks. I also know about asteroids, climate change, and that groundhogs are neither ground nor hogs. But maybe, just for this test, we can ignore everything that human beings should be aware of all the time? When you're frying chicken, you should know that there's a vaccine that eradicates polio in children. This is a true statement. That knowledge isn't specific to frying chicken, though, which is why most cookbooks leave it out.

Likewise, German drivers' license bureau, maybe your education should stick to driving tips. It's a fair compromise: When I'm stopped behind a school bus I can look out for wayward children or cars in my blindspot, but for a blissful minute or two please let me stop worrying about circus performers who've been temporarily blinded by talcum powder.