Wednesday, October 9, 2013

In England, I took a train out to Maldon to visit my cousin. She picked me up at the station and drove me to her house. It was a cute little cottage with appropriately low ceilings. I eyed the beams that dropped clearance to probably close to six feet, then noticed each had a tiny red Post-It attached.

My cousin giggled. "It's so you don't hit your head and hurt yourself," she said. "I want to make sure you see them."

I smiled. She clearly thought it was sweet, but I wasn't so sure. The more I thought about these idiot stickers the more insulted I felt. Did she think I was clueless? That my eyes didn't work? That I was too stupid to see these giant dark wood things stretching the length of the room, or that I was too dumb to duck?

We chatted for a while over tea and scones, and at nightfall she drove me back to the station. I told her I'd take care of her if she ever got to New York. Pick her up at the station, give her a snack, tie a towel around her neck in case she drools. "Isn't that thoughtful?" I'll giggle. "I mean, I'm sure you'll be absolutely fine but we don't want to get the carpet wet."


Yet Another Steve said...

Oh don't be such a poop, she was only trying to be kind to you. Frankly, I expected that story to end with "So I stood up to leave and bashed the hell out of my head on one of the beams."

RomanHans said...

Questions I'll answer: How tall are you? Do you play basketball? Are your parents tall? Questions I won't answer: Are you so freakish that architecture has to be altered for your presence?