Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Brandon Siler defending gun ownership despite the fact his temmate Jovan Belcher killed his girlfriend and himself:

Well, a majority of people own one, especially where they're legal. Most of the time they're for self-defense or sport.

Wait, so only some guns are used for murder/suicides? I used to be for gun control but buddy, count me in on the other side!

Besides, the idea that you can control guns is ridiculous, like Prohibition. Instead, picture a world where everybody had a gun and could defend themselves. It would be a whole new world! Here's what your average gun stickup sounds like now:

ROBBER: Stick 'em up! Give me your iPod!

And here's what it would sound like if everybody had a gun:

ROBBER: <bang!>

Because c'mon, no robber is going to take a chance he's got Quick Draw McGraw on his hands. No, the only reason he doesn't shoot you right off the bat is because the odds are really low that you're armed. Once that changes, it's a whole new ball game.

Burglaries would change, too. Think somebody would break into your house and steal all your stuff, hoping not to awaken you, if he knew you were armed? NO! He'd break into your house, shoot you in the head, and then steal all your stuff!

Okay, maybe it's not the best of circumstances for the victim. In the end, though, society wins. Somebody's bound to hear that gunshot, and the robber will be history. Well, unless he can scream, "THE GUY HAD A KNIFE!" before you whip out your Glock. It's win-win all around, though if your friends are prone to random collapsing better think about wandering around with them.