And highlights of what he had to say, at five-minute intervals.
MINUTE 0: "So how are you? I've missed you. You're always out of town."
MINUTE 5: "So my friend Michael is having his apartment renovated and he needs a place to stay. I thought since you're always gone...."
MINUTE 10: "His husband Ralph would stay there as well. What? Yes, it'd be just the two of them."
MINUTE 15: "That is so nice of you! You know, I wouldn't let them stay at my place because of their enormous dogs, but --"
I said not a fucking chance and hung up at Minute 16. But now I'm thinking I should have pretended to go along with it, just to hear further developments.
MINUTE 20: "They're really great guys. And they've cut way back on the smoking to just eight packs a day!"
MINUTE 25: "That is so sweet of you! You won't regret it. They gave up drugs and haven't burned down a building since 2023."
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