______________________
U-Sav Law Form 271y-2015b
(Fill in blanks pertinent to specific incident)
Dear Owner of Stoddard's Department Store :
It has recently come to my attention that on
Thursday
you encountered some difficulties with my
daughter
Raddison . Furthermore, I understand that
you may wish to initiate legal action against
him / her.
Perhaps you are unaware of the fact that my
daughter
is a straight-
B-
student at the esteemed
Kids 'b' Here Day Care & TV Repair ,
and recently received much acclaim for
hugging her maw-maw .
It is virtually unprecedented in this community that someone reaches such heights of accomplishment at the age of
she just turned six .
As I understand it, the difficulty arose when my
daughter
decided it would not be deleterious to
spin around with her eyes closed and her arms out
for the reason that
everything disappears when you close your eyes .
Though
Raddison
immediately understood the result of her actions and the fractional degree of culpability to which her parents would be exposed, it wasn't soon enough to avoid damage to
a bunch of shitty crystal .
While Raddison
sincerely regrets the incident, we are certain that upon further reflection you will understand that culpability lies just as much with
your shitty department store
as with us because
my husband is a LAWYER
and additionally only a MORON would put merchandise out where CHILDREN can reach it!!! .
It is our hope that you will discount the short-term profitability that might result from legal action and instead chalk up the incident to
YOUR IDIOTS!!! .
If you do, we are certain that the benefits you receive in future customer goodwill
would far outweigh the
$40,000 in damages! UNBELIEVABLE! FOR A BUNCH OF UGLY CRYSTAL SWANS!!!
that you allegedly suffered from
BEING IDIOTS!!! her .
Sincerely,
Mrs. Barbara Benelli
(Write name here)
1 comment:
This is so awful I suspect it may be true - if not now, then surely by next month.
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