Motoring back to the airport after seeing the devastation wreaked on the Gulf of Mexico by BP's oil disaster, President Obama finally broke down. "Stop here," he choked to his chauffeur. He stepped out of the car and stared in disbelief at the BP gas station. Finally it all clicked into place. He hoisted the metal barrel that served as a trash can onto his shoulder and then threw it through the front window with an explosion of noise and shattered glass.

He fell to his knees and pounded the ground with his bare fists. "DAMN YOU!" he yelled loud enough to wake the dead. "DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"