Friday, April 24, 2009

Jay Leno has been hospitalized for food poisoning, forcing NBC to air a repeat of the Tonight Show last night. Until they can determine the exact culprit, Burbank health authorities are warning residents to avoid Slurpees, corn dogs and Slim Jims.



Twenty-one horses died mysteriously in Florida on Sunday. State veterinarians, unsure whether the cause is a medical error or some deranged, horse-hating psychopath, and are questioning local pharmacists and Madonna.

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